I Feel Unloved

Hey, people, it's Random Awesome here,

Like, seriously, who ELSE would it be?

I'm going to take a break from flipping back to the past and will instead concentrate on the present. I am no more loved than I was five years ago when I first met Larry, unfortunately.

My mum is busy, my dad's not here, and my sisters ignore me, and I them. That part, I don't really mind.

I AM rather needled about the fact that my cat doesn't love me, though.

How do I know that?

Well, I did a little experiment today, and the results were SO negative.

You know those shows on Animal Planet, like those crime shows, where these people have been attacked and are lying on the floor, injured and dying? And then their pets go and find help for them, like they just KNOW?

So today I enacted my death scene. I staggered into the room, groaning and crying aloud, keeping one eye on my cat, who was snoozing. He opened one eye, then shut it.

So I fell to the floor, saying over and over again, "HELP. I am dying. If only SOMEONE would come and get help. SOMEONE I looked after since they were a kitten."

To add to the "deathiness" (is that even a word?) I even smeared ketchup over my arms. Then I ever so slightly nudged Ben with my toe, groaning as I did so.

He opened his eyes, jumped to the floor beside me and sniffed me, looking genuinely interested, and for a moment I was hopeful.

Then he licked the ketchup off my arms and went back to sleep.

You'd think someone who'd scratched his ears, rubbed his tummy, fed him, and played Roll Over with him would be deserving of more than a little attention.

But no.

I'm going to go now and go see someone who loves me just as much as I love it.

Chocolate, here I come....