Randomly Awesome, Duh!: My Heartscratch, Part 1: A Failed Spell and A Cheesy Grin

Wow, doesn't my title sound mysterious?

Um. Hi.

No blog would be complete without angst and grief. Just like my life wouldn't be complete without chocolate.

Seeing as today's Valentine's Day, and I'm feeling more than a little maudlin, I'm gonna make you all cry for me as I regale you with the tale of my heartbreak. Evil, aren't I?

Actually, to be honest, it's more of a heartscratch, than heartbreak.

A heartscratch ranks lower than hearbreak and heartache, but is marginally worse than a heartscrape.

For more info on the various things a heart can go through, please, contact me.

Only you can't, 'cause you have no idea who I am. Muahahahaha!

So, let's see. To protect this guy's identity ( and to spare me from being teased for the REST OF MY LIFE) I'm gonna call him Larry.

This part wil

l consist of how I first met Larry.

Again, let's climb into my spaceship and warp-speed back into the past.

Yeah, I'm a trekkie. Spock lives forever! Whoo!

The Past, because the Past is always in Italic. Got it?

So.... Let's see. I think I first met him when I was nine, so that was five years ago.

Before we go any further, can I just say that I'm a charmer.

I pride myself on being able to ask anything of anyone, and then they'll do it. A tilt of my head, a cheesy grin, a flutter of my eyelashes - hey presto, they'll do it.

I used to think it was because I was charismatic, charming, and more than a little sly.

Instead, when I finally asked people WHY exactly they did it, they mumbled something about me being so small (hey, I'm four foot something. Not THAT small, people!) and how they didn't want to disappoint me. Some nonsense of how they were scared I'd start crying if they didn't do it.

Hmm.

That's still another form of slyness, right? Heh heh.

Whatever the reason, they did it.

Five years ago, I noticed a new kid sitting at the lunch table. Taller than me, but scrawny (hey, it was true, then. Even if he insists that he's bulked up now. Sorry, don't see it.)

I was eager to try out my charming spell on a new person, and I was thirsty. Plus he looked like a pushover.

So I leaned over, tilted my head, grinned at him, and said, "Hey, you. New kid. Do you mind going to the counter and buying me a soda? Here's the cash. It's just that, I'm in the middle of the table, and you're at the end. Please?"

From experience, I knew new kids were the easiest. Eager to help, to fit in.

So imagine my surprise when the new kid - Larry, of course. Only that wasn't his real name. Duh - grinned even bigger back at me and said, "Sorry, no can do."

I dropped the charm. "HUH? WHY NOT?"

"Well," Larry said apologetically, "Whenever anyone asks me to do anything, my legs freeze up. Nightmare. They just swell like balloons."

Being the gullible nine-year old I was, I stared at him, dumbstruck.

He grinned at me, a great, cheesy grin that flashed all his teeth and made me instinctively grin back too, he looked so darn cheesy.

Between the "leg disorder" and the cheesy grin, I knew I had found myself a friend.

I DIDN'T know he would be more than that.