Just Your Average Picnic in An Abandoned House with A Stray Cat for Company

Agent R.A, signing in.

Today's mission? Sneak into abandoned, possibly haunted house, and have a picnic, of all things.

Dressed in: A black shirt, black pants, and a dark blue windbreaker. Not because it was cold, or anything - actually it was pretty warm - but because I felt that it was more... sneaky-ish. Slippers. Backpack.

Backpack filled with:

• Bag of roast nuts, 1
• Bottle of water, 1
• Bar of chocolate, 1
• Handful of fish crackers for Mango
• Flashlight, 1
• Butter knife, 1
  
• NO anti-zombie-ant spray, sadly

(Oh, wait. I guess I should explain the butter knife thing. It's like this. Being 30 kilos and scrawny, I figured that for any kidnapper lying in wait, I was easy pickings. So it was time to use brains over brawn. My Butter Knife Theory worked roughly like this: Some guy tries to kidnap me. I whip out my butter knife. He laughs, and says, "You gonna spread me with butter, kid?" I answer, "Yeah, the butter tin's behind ya!" He turns. I run. I am smart.)

I was ready to hit the road, folks. Of course, I still had no defence against ghosts but Mango. The cat was so hideous I figured he would scare any ghost we met. Either that, or he was so hideous the ghosts would want him to join them. Either way, I was cool.

I picked up Mango along the way and slipped inside.

It was exactly the same as it was last week: quiet, dusty and empty, except for where - oops - I had left dirty footprints. Oh well. Zombie ants wouldn't mind.

Okay, I thought, you can do this. Conquer your fear.

Turns out, big surprise, that I couldn't.

Y'see, I had envisioned me boldly sitting in the middle of the house, eating my picnic with bravado and pride, unafraid of anything.

The reality? I was hunched near the door, my foot firmly in the crack. What if the door blew shut? I would be trapped. Chocolate and nuts wouldn't get me very far. Then my only source of food would be Mango, and truthfully, I'd put my money on the cat.

I hastily stuffed my chocolate and nuts in my mouth, swallowed almost without chewing, tossed Mango the fish crackers and fled.

So the important thing is, I tried. I really did. I tried conquering my fear.

Tried being the operative word, of course.

Later,

Random Awesome