A Beautiful PAIN-ting

What's light blue and hazy green and rosy pink and bright red and deep purple, all swirled into one?

Is it:

A) The Northern Lights?

B) My tie-dye shirt?

The answer is neither. If I ask you a question and give you multiple choice answers, you will never get it right because I will always add another answer, that is to say,

C) My bruises on my knees, from failing my Sex and The City audition.

Okay, not literally.

But have you seen that show? Sarah Jessica Parker in it, she wears flippin' four-inch high heels and runs along the street trying to hail a taxi. I swear, her feet must be genetically fused into those things, the way she runs with them so naturally.

So, being the idiot-stupid-dumbo-airhead-and basically all the bad names I called myself when I got my bruises, I decided, hey! Why don't I try that?

Why not, indeed.

So I got myself into some high heels. Walked around, for a while, enjoying my extra four inches. (When you're only four feet and a bit, that's a BIG deal. Geddit? Big?)

Then I decided to run.

BAM, slip, fall on both knees, and somehow on the left side of my butt at the same time. I don't even know HOW that's possible. I have bones, you know, and yet my butt managed to suddenly become flexible and hit the floor.

Nice.

So I hobbled back inside and decided to lick my wounds. I figured they'd be purple, like usual.

But maybe having an extra four inches when you fall does something to your blood vessels, because now they're all pink and green and blue too.

Weirdly beautiful, actually.

So nice I actually made a painting of my bruises. A PAIN-ting.

And if you don't think THAT's a weird sentence, maybe you should read it again.

And the worst part? My sister walked in on me peering at my knees and painting.

Oh, sure, let's just make fun at your sister when she's fallen on both her knees and the left side of her butt at the SAME time.

Scientifically, bruises sound a lot worse.

I mean, instead of just saying, "My knees and butt are bruised," scientists say stuff like, "My capillaries and venules have been traumatised, allowing blood to spread into the extracellular space. Did I mention that they are on the kneeus leggus* and on the left side of my buttus?"

Actually, I think I wanna try talking like that. Sounds fun.

Later,

A beautifully bruised Random Awesome



*Of course, I don't know what the PROPER latin name for knee is, but it sure is fun saying it!